What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
