omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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