are you still at the devil's house?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
