What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
