I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
