First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't deserve a penis
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Randomize