they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
