Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
