just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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