dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
