theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
