woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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