Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Randomize
