and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
