I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I smell like Dick and happiness
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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