you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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