cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I had to cum in my sink.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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