Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
