never play flip cup with pint glasses
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
