At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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