My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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