found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
