am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
