You smell like stripper and shame
home. puking in laundry basket.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
