She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
