Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
