Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
