Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
