just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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