doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
