Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Randomize
