She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
