Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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