It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize