I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
