bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My ATM looks so different sober.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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