I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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