I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
