Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
