shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Be still, my beating vagina.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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