Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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