so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
