I wanna bring you to show and tell
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
