Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
