Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
