It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
