We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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