the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
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