am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
