Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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