She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
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She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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