how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize