Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
