u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
