The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
