i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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