She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
