She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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