when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize