Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize