Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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