the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
