His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
