i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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