I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize