haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
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you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
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It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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