There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
