Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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